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Sunrise in Hell

Пост N: 871
Зарегистрирован: 18.03.06
Откуда: Россия, Москва
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Отправлено: 22.08.07 22:47. Заголовок: Close-up

Ville Valo drinks like a pig when Close-up meets him. He is grey as ash in the face and his whole body is shaking?/font>

Or maybe not?

The decadent lifestyle has finally caught up with the great rock-romantic. In his most open-hearted interview ever, HIM뭆 vocalist tells us why he spent 49.000 dollars on getting back on his feet.

Ville Valo looked like a total mess the last time we met, on New Year뭩 Day in Helsinki . The dutiful singer had hosted the festival Helldone and was struggling to stay awake. He wanted to sleep but found himself swigging beer with an inquisitive Swedish journalist put together the cover article to Close-Up #89.

Tired but hopeful he said:

- I actually feel really excited about 2007. Last year was tough, this is going to be good.

The 11th of July, the day before HIM opens for Metallica in Stockholm he says:

- It뭩 been a very interesting year. For sure.

The 30-year old vocalist뭩 flight from Oslo is delayed and I have had two hours to drink two beers on a terrace at the Maria square in Stockholm . Ville is sitting at a table near the bar and in front of him he has 뻕 cup of coffee?! It wouldn뭪 be remarkable if it wasn뭪 for the fact that he has, for the dozen times I have met him he has been holding a beer in his hand, no matter the time of the day.

- I don뭪 drink. Let뭩 go up to my room and I뭠l tell you what happened.

When we arrive he offers me any choice of alcoholic beverage from the mini bar and takes a bottle of water for himself. The conversation I was expecting to be about 밮enus Doom?that is released September 19th takes a different turn. To say the least.

-I drank so much shit and puked blood. I couldn뭪 sleep for more than two hours in a row without drinking four Stella Artois . I was unbelievably stressed out after the album was done. When the mixing was done I thought I would get some time off. But no. There were listening sessions, meetings, meetings, meetings?I kept drinking more and more. When I then went to a doctor in Los Angeles she said that I would get a failure if I didn뭪 go to the E.R. or a rehabilitation centre. So I went to a rehab centre in Malibu . I was there for 28 days.

When was this?

-I have been sober for seven and a half weeks, including those 28 days. I came out about two weeks ago ?I think?! It feels like it뭩 been forever because so much has happened. We were so rock뭤뭨oll that we had video-meetings with the record company while I was in rehab, which was cool. It was a placed called Promises, it was more towards the fancy sort.

Do the name sound familiar? Promise has been all over the press for the last six month after Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan have been treated there (without any noticeable result). Among many other celebrities that made Promises more popular than Betty Ford are Charlie Sheen, Ben Affleck, Selma Blair, Tim Allen, Christian Slater and Diana Ross. Looking at www.promises.com you can compare it to a luxurious resort of the kind that stays a dream to a normal worker.

How much did it cost?

- 49.000 dollars for a month, Ville laughs. I didn뭪 get any discount. But it was worth it.

Is it deductible?

- I don뭪 now. We are trying to find that out because it is so much money. I hope my company can pay it. I don뭪 have that much money myself and in that case I will have to take a loan.

You must have that kind of money yourself?

- No no, not in my bank account. My company has money. I have money for expenses like Dimmu Borgir뭩 last album, he smiles. It was good to go there. There wasn뭪 any other option because I am bad at saying no. By that I don뭪 mean to alcohol and drugs but to work. There were more and more shit, more meetings every day and I kept drinking more and was stressing myself.

- I hadn뭪 eaten or drinking anything for f week and a half, after almost a two year booze. Or a booze꿢lmost always drinking I would say. A couple of pints every day꿵r four to eight꿵r more like six to ten. It wasn뭪 for me but I couldn뭪 stop on my own because I had no medicines. At the rehab centre they gave me Libirium for four to five days and some sleeping pills. After that I felt pretty good.

What effect did Libirium have?

- I got rid of the shaking. I was shaking like a leaf, it was really bad. Obviously you shake a lot after drinking socially for many years and then drinking heavily and just give it up like that, he says and snaps his fingers.

When you were at the doctor and she gave you the alternatives E.R. or rehab?b style="">

- She explained that my calium level in my blood was so low that it was pretty serious, Ville interrupts me before I have time to rephrase the question. I told her 밒 don뭪 have time. I have to give interviews?which was true. I checked my blood status and she was very concerned. Then I told myself I wanted to admit myself to rehab 뱋r I don뭪 have time to rest? If I am in Los Angeles or Helsinki there is no way I can lock the door, turn off my cell and do nothing because there is always something happening in the world of music. It뭩 either an extremely important interview or an extremely important decision that has to be made.

- It took brick walls, 49.000 dollars and a cell phone taken away from me to make me stay at the same place for the first time in 15 years. I met a lot of wonderful people with different backgrounds. It was nice just to read and I got a tan in Malibu . Not bad. However, after the first two weeks I got bored. So next tome I will settle with 밺etox? of course after a 뱑etox? he says as a reference to the latest album of Turbonegro which is lying on a dresser in the room.

Before you saw the doctor, did you ever consider rehab?

- I had thought about it for more than a year but there were songs to be written and an album to be recorded. Usually you find yourself with a sense of emptiness when a record is made. You spend so much time as well as physical and emotional energy on working with the songs, getting everything done, taking care of details around which studio to use, where the shit should be mixed and who뭩 going to do the album cover?/font>

- When all this is over you are completely empty inside. It뭩 like having a laxative IV ?there is nothing left inside you. That is usually the worst moment. When you have thing to do you stretch your limits and can go out party a lot. I drank a bottle of red wine to be able to get out of bed. It is sick, but I couldn뭪 stop because I had to work.

Promises use the 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous with instructions on how to get well, step by step. Several of these steps refer to god and a higher power. That really doesn뭪 feel like Ville Valo.

- You were given a survey where you where suppose to answer the question: - What effect did the treatment have on your spirituality??My answer: 밡othing, because I am a full-blown Scandinavian, pagan-worshipping Satanist rock뭤뭨oller?/font>

How did they react at Promises?

- They never got back to me... This was when I checked out. Nice people though. The staff was amazing and they told amazing stories. It was a very supportive atmosphere. They said it뭩 one of the least AA-based programs. According to what I have heard it is softer in Europe , but over there the meetings take place in churches. It is not too Christian but I still don뭪 like to visit the church. I don뭪 believe there is a higher power that leads you away from alcohol. If you are that week꿌 was even thinking of quitting smoking. When I chose to leave the alcohol behind I might as well stop everything I am addicted to.

- It is about the power of will. If I can뭪 handle the booze I shouldn뭪 be f*cking drinking. It took a long time until I realized that. I could handle it for long, longer than most people. But when the shit hit the fan, it poured shit!

Did you get up in front of a lot of people and say: 밐i, my name is Ville and I am an alcoholic?

- Yes, I laughed and said. I am a f*cking drunk!?They have a prayer that you are suppose to take part in: 밎od, grab me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change blab la bla뀛 Instead I said: 밢zzy, grab me the serenity뀛 or ?span id="lw_1187806021_20">Black Sabbath, grab me the serenity뀛

- I don뭪 know what it뭩 like in Sweden but in Finland we have this worker-pride. You work your way through the problems. For me it is about pride, that I shouldn뭪 mess up the amazing position I have reached from playing music from the age of seven-eight. I don뭪 want to ruin that because I like a beverage with the colour of piss. My only vice now is water, cigarettes and coffee. But I feel good. I like being sober. My plan is to be sober until September next year to be able to do all the promotion and touring for the new album. I sleep better and I sing better.

- We have laughed about it being a good career move for me to be doing all the promotion sober. Then when I start writing again I start drinking and we make room for admitting me in rehab in the budget for the next record. That will be the cycle from now on!

That sounds like a strange thing coming from someone just out of rehab. Don뭪 you have to stay sober for the rest of your life?

- No. A lot of people just go to the rehab centre for detox and then go straight to a bar. I don뭪 want to do that because I don뭪 want to disappoint the band, the record company, my parents, Seppo or anyone else. It is nice to be able to spend time with people sober, I have no problem with that. I like taking things too far- Doing that with the drinking has made even the thought of beer making me feel sick. I had gotten really swollen, my face was grey, was constantly shaking and having panic attacks. I self-medicated with alcohol when I really should have stopped. But there was no time because I had to work all the time.

- I had agoraphobia and was scared of stepping out of the door and being on public places. It was really bad and was because of the bad hung overs. I confused the hung overs for depression and got depressed from all the drinking. It made my serotonin and sugar levels low, which affects your general condition.

- It was a good experience. I have a new hole in my belt. Not because of the weight loss but because I am gained one experience. I say as a joke that I love anthropological experiments and I myself am the guinea pig.

You don뭪 see yourself as an alcoholic?

- Hell no! I don뭪 believe, as they teach it, that alcoholism is a disease - it is a way of life. We are Scandinavians and we drink. I have had a hell of a fun time but reached a point where the fun turned into a nightmare. It didn뭪 last. It isn뭪 nice when you have to have six pints of beer and then AFTER that get out of bed still hung over , because you drank so much. I was testing my limits, not consciously but unconsciously. But I had to take a break.

- If I felt like drinking I would do it right now. It is about feeling proud of your work. I didn뭪 want to ruin the whole band thing. It was the music that got me the ridiculous amounts of beer. I didn뭪 become a musician because I wanted alcohol but because I love Black Sabbath. Rather sober and boring than ruining everything because of drinking.

His gets darker and flashes.

I can뭪 f*cking stand all the wining from Alcoholic Anonymous or old rockers that have been abused as children! Everyone is so god damn negative. Whether you have been abused it뭩 up to the individual themselves. There are many drug addicts and alcoholics who뭭e never been used, that are from rich families and have had a blast. It happens to all types of people but you have to turn it into something positive. I have 15 years of incredible f*cking parties behind me, which is more the many people have during their whole life time?I look forward to more, but this time remember more of it. We will see what happens. I don뭪 want to make a pact with myself. It뭩 like jerking off.

Do you go to AA-meetings?

- No, to me it뭩 a question of pride. If I can뭪 handle this on my own I am screwed. I have to take a piss?/font>

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